Dear Scientologist,
When you got into Scientology, what did you want to do with it? What did you want to accomplish?
Was it helping people? Did you envision helping others with Scientology?
Was it increased abilities, powers? Did you picture yourself dashing through life with ease and confidence?
Was it flourishing and prospering? Were your dreams of a good life, where you could live as you wished, where you had the life you’d dreamed of? Did you see yourself free from debt and financial troubles?
Was it freedom? Did you desire to be free from guilt and pressure; free to do as you deemed right; free to live the life you chose?
Was it “OT”? Did you want to uncover the upper level mysteries? Did you want to know how to regain OT abilities? Did you want unlimited potential?
So, how’s it going with your original goals? Are you there yet? Are you making progress? Are your goals completely different now?
I can imagine your life is considerably different, now that you’re a Scientologist, but is it better? Are you, personally, doing better now?
Or are you deeply in debt, far beyond what your better judgment would have allowed?
Are you under tons of pressure and guilt to do more, give more, dedicate more? Do you cringe when the phone rings? Do you get into long conversations about your private finances with Scientology staff members, IAS registrars, desperately trying to justify not going even deeper into debt?
Are you scared? Are you afraid that you will be prevented from moving up the bridge because you just haven’t given enough money to the IAS, the Ideal Org. campaign, CCHR? Have you already been stopped? Do you feel threatened by what the Scientology powers-that-be may do to you if you don’t do what you’re told?
Have your results from Scientology been a disappointment? I know you can’t admit it aloud, but have the bright, wonderful promised results not been so bright, not so wonderful? Do you feel just about like you used to feel, many years ago? Are you still hoping your future services will give you the bright, wonderful results you’d wanted?
Do you feel constrained, corralled, herded, controlled by the Church of Scientology? Do you get tired of constantly monitoring what you see, what you hear, what you read to make sure you don’t stray from the “allowed areas”? Does the church have a list of things you should be doing? Does this feel like “freedom” to you? When you’re around non-Scientologists, do you ever relax, or do you constantly watch what you say, what they say?
Do you miss your friends and family? Do friends and family tense up when you show up, because they know you’ll just pressure them to “try Scientology”? Do any of them still want to be around you? Have you been forced to “disconnect” from all of them? Do you ever have any conversations that are not about Scientology? Don’t you miss just hanging out?
When was the last time you laughed, really laughed, long and loud? When was the last time you really relaxed?
Do you feel that the Church of Scientology helps you or does it only demand help from you? And is that demand for help pretty much just a demand for lots more money?
Is your future “bright with promise”, or is it now “heavy with guilt and responsibilities”?
Do you think the Church of Scientology would consider these questions “unacceptable”? Why would just asking questions be forbidden by any honest organization?
–
Ask the Scientologist 
Unfortunately, after 25 years of scientology and 15 years on the coveted “solo nots” I could not answer any one of your questions in the positive.Getting out of scientology felt like pulling a 100 pound parasite off my back.Although very grim, the picture you paint is deadly accurate.
Bill, you are a very, very good writer and quite obviously a compassionate human on a mission. I have been making a minor study of Scientology over the years and too often the rhetoric is so inflammatory as to turn off anyone it was purporting to deconvert.Keep up the good fight, man. I have a lot of respect for what you're doing and the skill with which you're doing it.
@ElizabethThank you.That was actually one of my first motivations to start this blog, the misconceptions and inflammatory rhetoric was rampant and I thought I could help.I've tried to talk to Scientologists, ex-Scientologists and everyone else in terms they could all understand, to increase understanding between all the different viewpoints. I hope I've helped.
THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ETHICS CONDITIONS OF SCIENTOLOGYIt could not possibly be by accident that the Ethics Conditions ofScientology are in reverse order.From its inception the Ethics Code of Scientology has emphasised itsSnakes and Ladders structure. “Up is Good. Down is Evil”. Up is success, down is failure.You struggle to get up the ladder, and the lower conditions are taken onvoluntarily only in moments of great stress, or distress, or Confusion (However, confusion is always construed by Ethics Officers as Doubt).The conditions from Liability downwards are imposed by one’s‘superiors’ who are of course Superior and know best what is ‘for yourown good’.The consideration that one might take on a really “Low” condition ofone’s own volition could only be a sign of insanity, or so one is led to believe.Once, when I was high in the Org system, the Ethics Officer confidedin me that when one assigns to an SP the condition of Enemy one mustgive them the formula “Find out who you really Are” because “Thatreally spins them in”. And thus the formulae for the ‘really low’ conditions become identified wholly with Failure, Criminality and Sin.And thus one is forced to aim ever upward, upward… trying to achieve – not your own goals but – the goals of Elron and Miss Cabbage.Ever ‘upwards’ and away from what was your original Goal in entering Scientology– to find out who, what and where you REALLY are.Because that is why you joined – isn’t it? That is what you expected, hoped for.After all, when one has found out Who, what and where one REALLY isthen Scientology, or any other set of institutional rules and instructions is aboutas helpful as a Rolls Royce jet engine or a ton of Plutonium would beto a butterfly.