Scientology: Getting New Converts

A recent suggestion got me thinking, “How is Miscavige’s Church of Scientology getting new converts now?”

It can’t be easy. The public at large knows all about the sooper-seekrit, confidential, highly-dangerous, OT information. They know all about Lord Xenu and the Body Thetans (which would be a great name for a band, don’t you think?)

The average non-Scientologist knows much more than the average Scientologist. As far as the church is concerned, any potential convert might suddenly blurt out information that would kill a lower-level Scientologist! How can they let the lower-level Scientologist out to recruit new members. It’s certain death! It’s impossible!

So, one assumes, only those OT III or higher are being allowed out for proselytizing. Only OT IIIs can man the Volunteer Minister’s tents. Only OT IIIs can give those “Stress Tests”. Well, gee, this must severely restrict their operations.

Now you have these OT IIIs out talking to the public, and they are required to lie. Someone says something about Xenu and the Body Thetans and the OT III must lie and say that Scientology does not believe or teach that. How do you think that goes over? The public person knows the Scientologist is lying, because they saw the information in L. Ron Hubbard’s handwriting or heard it directly in Hubbard’s voice. The Scientologist knows they are lying, and that if they could recruit someone, that person would eventually find out they had been betrayed.

That doesn’t make for a real effective recruitment. Since most Scientologists are merely misguided and gullible, not evil, this blatant lying isn’t going to go over too well.

What to do? What to do? David Miscavige needs to lure in more people, but the standard recruitment line is broken. What to do?

Miscavige’s previous “solution”, the shiny new buildings, is not working! Not only are they not getting bought or renovated quickly enough but any that are fully completed just aren’t pulling in new people anyway. Street recruitment via “Ideal Org”, “Personality Tests” and “Stress Tests” is broken. What to do?

Miscavige the Failure now has a new program. Oh, this one surely will work when all of his past programs have failed. He’s going to sell books!

Oh, not David personally, no. He can’t actually handle that. He has ordered everyone to go out there and sell books. Sell-sell-sell-sell! Surely that will work!

He’s absolutely sure that people will buy the Scientology books that he has so painstakingly “corrected”. People will buy his books, read his wonderful, new-improved “wisdom”, and, magically, come in and start sending Miscavige money.

But that is yet another abysmal failure. People didn’t particularly want Hubbard’s books and they really don’t want Miscavige’s “corrected” versions. It would be possible to properly market one or more of Hubbard’s books and have some success — it’s been done — but Miscavige can’t do it. It takes intelligence, bright ideas, surveys, analysis, testing and quite a bit of time and money. Miscavige doesn’t have the intelligence, doesn’t want to waste time and money doing all the hard work — he only relies on “Miscavige-bright-idea” power.

Oh, my! Those are the “bright ideas” that have failed consistently for 30 years.

His book selling project has failed from the very start. You see, selling books is a well researched and well mapped out activity, and Miscavige doesn’t know anything. Here’s a hint, David: You don’t send out hoards of people to the street to “sell books”. That’s stupid. Also, you don’t send out people to harass bookstores. Do you think it’s smart to seriously alienate bookstore owners? And you don’t pull out 30-year-old ads which were carefully tailored for that time and run them now, in today’s Internet world! That’s lazy! And very stupid!

The only “successes” Miscavige has with his project were created by FORCING Scientologists, who already have all the books, on threat of heavy punishment, to buy his books. Good one, David! But he very quickly ran out of people he could force to do this.

Miscavige is down to force and punishment. That’s the only way he can operate: Force and punishment. He is now forcing people to buy his stuff. He is forcing people to send him money.

But Miscavige can’t force the public to buy his crap. He can force some Scientologists to go out to try and sell his crap, but they can’t force the public to buy Miscavige’s crap either.

Woe betide his system of force and punishment when his victims realize that his threatened punishment is without teeth! His threats have no power.

Many Scientologists are realizing that, if Miscavige is an example of the best that Scientology can produce, there is something seriously wrong with Scientology.

What good is a threat to “banish someone from Scientology” if people realize they don’t want Miscavige’s version of Scientology anyway?

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5 Responses to Scientology: Getting New Converts

  1. Anonomomily says:

    My fondest wish is that little Davy is out there somewhere shrieking in anger and pounding his slaves with his tiny fists of fury as he reads these scathing words.

  2. Just Bill says:

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall, eh?Someday, the stories will come out. Rumor has it that little Davy is VERY upset with all of us… 😀

  3. Anonymous says:

    What is it with these diminuitive men and their craving for absolute power? Napoleon, Hitler, Miscavige, the artist formerly known as Prince — is it calcium deficiency, a genetic link between the “shortness” genes and the “asshole” gene(s), or is someone simply compensating for something?

  4. Tamás says:

    Maybe he can learn something from all this criticism, or not? Is he so stupid, that he can’t?Is he totally obsessed with himself?”Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.”:-)

  5. Just Bill says:

    @TamásNot.It is certain that he isn’t very smart. But his obsession with his own “perfection” is also a factor. He keeps failing horribly, keeps blaming everyone else, then repeats his screw up. He never learns.

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