He… put on the sunglasses, annoyed to discover that the metal object had scratched one of the lenses. Nevertheless, he felt much more comfortable with them on. They were a double pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, which had been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude toward danger. At the first hint of trouble they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you.
I must admit that I am a fan of Douglas Adams. I find his very quirky British humor refreshing and delightful. The above is a sample of his type of humor: Sunglasses that “help” you when danger looms by becoming completely opaque.
Ridiculous! Absurd! Hilarious!
Such an object makes no sense and would never exist.
Unless you are a Scientologist.
Danger is certainly looming for all Scientologists. Every year, every month, heck, every day it seems like, there is more bad news for the Church of Scientology. Secret documents are leaked; crimes are exposed in detail with lots of confirmation; lies are debunked; abuses documented. It just doesn’t stop.
It used to be somewhat obscure websites only visited by the few. Today it is major media — newspapers, magazines, television, radio and books by major publishers. Scientologists are leaving the church and telling their stories.
It just doesn’t stop. Danger looms from every side.
And this is where Scientology’s Peril Sensitive Sunglasses kick in. You can’t see them but every Scientologist has a trusty pair firmly clamped on their faces. These sunglasses have been installed over many months and years of Scientology indoctrination.
When danger looms and Scientology is in peril, Scientologists’ minds go opaque. They cannot and do not read. They cannot and do not look. They cannot and do not think.
Then they are safe. Totally safe. They look, childlike, at David Miscavige, who tells them “Everything is OK! Scientology is expanding! Scientology is winning!”
And the Scientologists, with their Scientology Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, set to totally black, can relax.
All is OK.